The Near Marriage of Thrym; The Groom's Prospective
by Lord Dunstan LeHeryngmongere (Keith Nealson)
I want and I wait
For a woman who comes
A bride being brought
As bribe for a hammer.
I have right here
A hammer for her.
T-tunic is tentlike
I am tense with joy.

She enters with escort
And elephantine grace
Her footstaps so fierce;
Like falling thunder.
I fancied that Freja
Was smaller of frame.
The odor of oxen
Is on her heavily.

Very well veiled is she;
But visible still.
A hairy chin shows she
Really should have shaved;
She boasts a backside
Bountiful; but mannish
I find myself frightened;
Do fries come with that, Freja?

I glimpse bodice that boasts
A bosom oceans wide
But flat as a floormat
I am flustered to see
A back with hair like hide
Of horse in winter
And why wear a helm
When wed, I wonder . . .
May I have the hammer?
She husky-voiced asks-
‘Tis below my belt’ I say
‘you’ve but to find it.’
Furry forearm reaches
To find hidden Mjolnir.
Groping my Garments-
‘Getting Warmer’ I warn.

As she seeks and searches
I slide hands on her
What’s this? I wonder-
She wears below belly-
A mace at her midriff?
I marvel at it’s heft
With sac on either side
For storing coins; no doubt.

Finally she finds it;
And frees thunder hammer;
Dress drops revealing
Decidedly male bride.
Thor is thoroughly pissed;
And throws his tool about.
Tent tunic collapses;
So, too, shall I soon.

ABOUT THIS STYLE:
This poem is done in the style of Fornyrðislag (pronounced FORT-near-this-lahg) It is the immediate descendant of the older stichic poetry found in the poetic eddas and has enjoyed use in Iceland for a thousand years, from the days of the Scandinavian settlement in the ninth century until the late nineteenth century, when its practice more or less lapsed. This style usually consisted of 8 line verses. Each line had two stressed syllables and between 2 and 5 unstressed syllables. The lines came in pairs that practiced alliteration (consonant rhyming) so that the same consonant sound was heard usually three and sometimes four and five times in a pair of lines. Usually, though not always, the stressed syllables were part of the first three alliterative words.

It is based on very well known story from the same eddas in which Thor’s hammer, Mjolnir, is stolen by the giant Thyrm, who refuses to give it back unless he can be wed to the goddess Freja. It is of course Loki’s idea to dress up Thor in Bridal gown and get him close enough to Thyrm to get his hammer back. This poem is written from Thyrm’s perspective as he is being confronted by the cross-dressing deity.
 

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This site is maintained by Ursula von Bremen - this page was  updated 25 November, 2006.